Do you remember singing “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me?” That is half truth. Stick and stones may break our bones but names can and they do hurt us. No matter how we cut it, rejection hurts and even when we get over it seemingly, a flash back of a bad memories will flood our hearts with the intense pain of rejection and hurt.
I was “married” once long ago for a short time. I won’t go into many details as they are not important. The only reason I am sharing this is to help those who think you can not overcome the rejection of one who is suppose to love you. The physical abuse/beating actually hurt the core of my being more the bruises and injuries that healed eventually. The names I was called still echo in my heart at times and can bring the deep hurt back to my soul. I forgave him before I left him the final time. Learning how to allow God’s love to wash away the hurt of rejection was a process.
I heard the words “you are no good,” “no one will ever love you,” and “you are just a worthless cripple,” then moments after getting punished for being no good I’d hear “I love you.” This made me feel like I was living in a night mare or the feature star of the “Twilight Zone.” The GOOD NEWS is my soul had an anchor in Christ and it held through those years and the few years it took to learn to reject – rejection through knowing the truth. This truth will set YOU free as well. The Truth is His Word. God loves YOU! I am so thankful He loves us with His amazing love.
You will find in the pages of the living Word of God that God sent His Son to die for our sins. We all have sinned. No one is without sin, especially me- I know me and God knows me better. In the “marriage” I just sin differently than the X did. I wished he’d run off with someone and leave me alone. I started dreaming that someone would love me. During this whole time Jesus never left me or forsook me. He Who is the example of LOVE Himself, was loving me through this whole time. I was just too messed up to focus on the Greatest Love of my life. But I experience His protection. The day came when I knew I needed to use common sense and leave. Praying for protection is wise but when things continued to get worse, it was time to run for my life literally. I needed to refocus my life to Living to love instead of living in fear.
So I left him. He stalked, balked, cried and pleaded. I finally got wise and all his antics went unheeded. Now, the hard part was to get past the past. I started walking and listening to music. I walked for miles. The one song I listened to over again and again was Don Henley’s “GET OVER IT.” (Beware! it is not a Christian hymn but still the LORD used it in a powerful way in my life.)
I knew I had to “get over it” and asked the LORD to help me, show me how…and He did. This was key and is key to rejecting rejection in my life.
Step One: Remember Who was beaten beyond being recognized, betrayed by the world He came to save, and rejected by His Father. God had to turn His away from His Son when our sins were laid upon Jesus as He died on the Cross. The death, burial and resurrection is the key to freedom for all mankind. All we have to do is accept the free gift of salvation and we become a new creation in Christ. Being a Christian doesn’t mean victory over the challenges of life are dropped into your lap and you never struggle with the hurt and rejection. It does mean we have the power in Christ to reject rejection because Christ made the way. Sin was defeated. To experience this life one must pursue knowing Him through His Word and prayer. As long as we are in the world we will have trouble but Jesus came so we can overcome. It is a fight of faith and takes diligence on our part. In other words, living a truly victorious life isn’t like going through a drive thru for a quick fix lunch. It is a life style make possible by the One Who loves us most- our Father Who is in Heaven through the Power of the Blood of Jesus Christ imputing to us His righteousness. It is a free gift.
Step 2. Focus ahead and don’t lookall have things in our lives we rather not remember. God remembers our sin no more so why should we dwell on it? I should have not of married the man I did. It took me longer to forgive myself than to forgive him for what he did to me. Forgiving him was easy. Forgiving myself took time. It did not need too. God forgave me the first time I repented. That was the day of the wedding. But I had to live in the consequence of my choice. Sometimes we pay dearly for bad choices in this life BUT by His grace I not only got through it; I got over it! So can you!
Isaiah 43:18-19 English Standard Version (ESV)
18 “Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
Philippians 3:14 English Standard Version (ESV)
14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
The root cause of rejection is selfishness. No matter who has rejected you or hurt you there is the hope of breaking the chains of rejection off your life. The pain of rejection is like a prison we put ourselves in if we don’t learn to reject rejection. Those who hurt us don’t care that we are hurting. As long as we are in this world rejection from others, even those who love us may happen. But God sees every hurt and He cares. He has given us the key and His power to reject rejection. As a believer we always have the power to reject rejection and dwell on the Love of God who gives true value and self worth.
If you don’t know Christ yet, will you accept the ONE Who will accept you just as you are? He loves you unconditionally and will bind up your broken heart. Words of rejection that come back to haunt me at times have lost their power. I remind myself of the One Who accepts and values me. I know I am loved by the Best. So are you.
Questions? Please contact me or go to http://www.peacewithgod.net